The Darker Side of Pez

She camps out
In front of the Pez store.
Without a doubt
She's a complete Pez whore.

Bankrupt and broke
Long, long ago,
She wears a dark cloak
And she's missing a toe.

She'll use all of her money
To support her habit.
If she sees Pez on somebody
She'll immediately grab it.

She became an addict
At the age of 13.
With no Pez she gets ticked
So what's it all mean?

No matter the flavor,
She eats the Pez candy.
When it's crushed she can't savor
Because it's too sandy

She hopes one day
She may afford a Pez toy.
All work and no play
Make Jack a dull boy.

Black suit and ties
Dark Glasses and all,
The Pez Mafia spies
Lurk behind every wall.

You never know it,
But they're always watching you.
There's nothing they can't get,
There's nothing they won't do.

It's run by a man
Known only as Don Pez.
He's got the IQ of a frying pan
Yet they do whatever he says.

They run the Pez stores,
They run the Pez plants,
They pimp the Pez whores,
And they crush the Pez ants.

The Pez Mafia knows
That Pez is addictive.
But they refuse to show
This dangerous additive.

When ever they get hounded
By newsman Emery King,
The order is sounded:
Deny everything!

Asleep in a bed
With Pez Dispensers on display,
The boy dressed in red
foresaw nothing that day

This little blond boy
Just couldn't have known
At night the Pez toys
Get a life of their own.

They jumped to the floor
To enact their plan.
They closed the bedroom door
And unified the Pez clan.

They drew in close
Chanting in an eerie way.
"Todos los ratinos
Son rosados," they say.

They'd agreed on killing
This Boy. He was nuts!
He was knowing and willing
When he sucked out their guts.

They cut open his chest
And extracted his gut.
Before they would rest
They wrote this poem in his blood.

By the next morning
The boy was a mess.
He serves as a warning
To all who eat Pez.

This poem I am summing
In case you have missed:
The Pez clan is coming
And boy are they pissed!

Movement IV:The Mysterious Mint Pez

In the shadows behind
The colorful faces
One stands in the minds
Of all the Pez races.

He's about as scary
As the brothers Manandez.
Who leaves all weary?
The Mysterious Mint Pez.

He's the true brains
Behind the Pez Mafia.
When Pez is in rain
It gets very sloppy-a.

With a powerful mint fist,
He rule all of Pez Land.
When he gets pissed,
You do what he says, man!

He is of one color,
Not of two or three.
He never feels hunger,
And he never has to pee.

And when you're on the ground,
Your face a bloody mess,
Who ordered your beat down?
The Mysterious Mint Pez.

He runs the Pez Store
Who could this man be?
It's not the Pez Whore,
It's the Pez Nazi!

He judges everyone
By their face or their shoes
Even to a nun
He'll yell "No Pez for you!"

He has the only recipe
Maybe he was a soda jerker.
Maybe he hemmed a dress.
But he was probably a postal worker.

He demands perfection,
Nothing more, nothing less.
He owns a machine gun,
So it's best to be obsequious.

No matter what the customers do,
Even if they burst into tears,
He simply states "No Pez for you!
Come back, one year!"