The Masochist Gets A Flu Shot

I see people in the waiting room
Their faces are all full of gloom
Maybe they don't like needles and shots
But for them, I'll always have a soft spot

I love the flu shots in my arm
And how my grin makes the nurse alarmed
And if that nurse has that "special touch"
That makes the needle not hurt so much
I tell her "Stick that bitch all the way in!"
Pull it out and then do it again.

Twist the needle a couple times
While I make up these painful rhymes
Hey, that nurse looks kinda hot
Think she could give me a few flu shots?
Ram that needle all the way through
Think I could get shots in my leg too?

Hey, waitaminute, where ya goin' nurse?
Can't you make those things hurt worse?
Maybe if you used those IV spikes
I've always wondered what those feel like
Can you make me scream in that high pitch?
Use those needles and make me your bitch

The nurses aren't playing along, I'm afraid
All I got was a prick and a band-aid
And rather than putting a needle through my tongue
Out the front door, I was flung

They looked at me like I was insane
When all I want is a little pain
But hey, time is all I've got
I'll head down the street for some more flu shots.