Allergies (Listen)

This is for the people who are always blowing their nose
Who pack a pound of Kleenex wherever they go
Who can’t finish a sentence without needing to sneeze
This is for the ones who suffer from severe allergies

You don’t know how to appreciate a spring day
Until you can’t smell a thing with all that snot in the way
You’re trying to enjoy a picnic but your sinuses are swollen
From the filth flowers put in the air, I think it’s called pollen

Allergies can be horrible, dating a girl who’s hot
She’ll lean in to kiss you, but get a face full of snot
And it isn’t because you’re allergic to her
But the bitch has a cat and her clothes are covered in its fur

Can't go into stores with carpet on the floors
Without sneezes blowing me backwards through the front doors
If they don't like me blowing my bugle nose in their sight
They should eradicate the carpet mold and the dust mites

Women will wear their putrid perfume
It smells so strong, it pollutes the whole room
Would they wear so much if they really understood
That there are people who can’t breathe because they stink so good?

But going to work is the worst; it’s the height of unjust
When you walk in to your office and you can smell the dust
Because management won’t vacuum or clean the air vents
And they don’t get what the pile of used Kleenex on your desk represents

So this is for the people who’ve considered buying stock in Puffs
Because no matter how many boxes they have, it’s just not enough
For the ones who examine the mucus in their tissues
To gauge the extent of their allergenic issues

For those who blow their nose so loud, the whole building can hear
Rejoice brothers and sisters, your time is near.
I salute you, my friends, with a thundering exhalation of nasal goo
Blow your nose proudly, let no allergen silence you